Parenting in Sabah, Malaysia

Introduction: The Diversity and Richness of Parenting in Sabah 

Sabah, located on the northern portion of the island of Borneo, is celebrated for its immense ethnic, linguistic, and cultural diversity. Home to more than 30 distinct ethnic groups—such as the Kadazan-Dusun, Bajau, Murut, Orang Sungai, Rungus, and many more—Sabah offers a unique tapestry of traditions that profoundly influence family life and the upbringing of young children. The region stands out not only for its people's resilience and resourcefulness but also for an evolving cultural landscape where traditional child-rearing practices intersect dynamically with contemporary, evidence-based approaches. From birth rituals and confinement customs to modern psychological attachment theory and government early childhood programs, child-rearing in Sabah reflects a constant negotiation between ancestral heritage and present-day realities¹. 

This article explores, in depth, how the people of Sabah nurture and educate their infants and young children, with particular attention to ritual practices, parenting styles, sociocultural influences, and health and development norms. Special emphasis is placed on indigenous communities, such as the Kadazan-Dusun, Bajau, Murut, and Orang Sungai, foregrounding their unique customs and the nuanced interplay between tradition and modernity. Throughout, we anchor our analysis in recent scientific scholarship and rich anthropological data, highlighting both enduring wisdom and the challenges posed by urbanization, technology, and globalization. 

Overview of Infant Care and Parenting in Sabah: A Multicultural Foundation 

Sabah’s demographic landscape is a mosaic of traditions, beliefs, and languages. The three largest indigenous groups—the Kadazan-Dusun, Bajau, and Murut—account for a significant proportion of the population, with the Orang Sungai and Rungus communities also making major cultural contributions¹². Each of these groups has historically developed its own distinctive child-rearing practices, shaped by geography, religion, animistic or Islamic beliefs, and economic livelihood (for example, rice farming, fishing, or cattle rearing). 

Regardless of ethnic background, Sabahans tend to share certain core values. Central to family life is the concept of family centrality—a belief in the primacy of the extended family as a source of support, discipline, and moral education. Respect for elders, reciprocal obligation, and community involvement are fundamental, and continue to shape attitudes toward infant care in both rural and urban settings. Despite the observable shift toward smaller nuclear families and evolving gender roles, these traditional norms resonate deeply within Sabahan households. At the same time, rapid modernization, technology, and increased access to global information have encouraged integration of evidence-based, gentle parenting approaches in many families, blending tradition with scientific understanding of child development³. 

The Kadazan-Dusun: Rituals and Parenting Practices 

Birth and Early Infancy Rituals 

The Kadazan-Dusun people, the largest indigenous group in Sabah, possess a rich tapestry of customs surrounding birth and infant care¹. Traditionally animist in religious orientation (Momolianism), the Kadazan-Dusun now practice Christianity (mainly Roman Catholicism) and Islam, but ancestral rituals retain symbolic importance. 

One of the most significant Kadazan-Dusun rituals is the celebration of new life and the safeguarding of infants through ritualistic acts that blend Christian prayer with customary beliefs. Such rituals may involve the blessing of rice wine (lihing), symbolic sprinkling of holy water, or the performance of the mamagang—a ceremonial dance and chant to invoke ancestral protection. The tradition of assigning meaningful names based on natural elements, familial connections, or aspirations is also still prevalent, signaling the deep relationship between child, environment, and community identity⁴¹. 

Confinement and Postpartum Care 

A typical postpartum practice is the confinement period, lasting anywhere from 30 to 44 days. During confinement, the mother receives special care from experienced female relatives or traditional birth attendants (bidan), who prepare warming herbal baths, nutritious soups, and engage in body wrapping (bengkung) to promote healing and uterine contraction. This period is marked by taboos on physical exertion, exposure to wind, and certain foods, reflecting beliefs about vulnerability to spirits and the importance of restoring maternal balance⁵⁶⁷. While such customs are adapted today to fit Christian or Muslim sensibilities, they remain valued for the social support and practical recovery they provide. 

Parenting Styles and Modern Transitions 

Parenting among Kadazan-Dusun can be broadly categorized into a continuum of authoritarian and authoritative approaches, with a growing trend toward combining discipline with emotional support. Research indicates that traditional Kadazan-Dusun parents—especially those with little formal education and residing in rural areas—have favored strict, rule-based discipline (authoritarian) to ensure children’s obedience and academic success, often utilizing scolding and corporal punishment as corrective measures. However, parents and children alike have recognized these actions as arising from economic hardship and a desire to break cycles of poverty through educational attainment. 

Increasing awareness of child psychology and the value of emotional bonding has led many Kadazan-Dusun families to adopt authoritative parenting, balancing parental authority with nurturing guidance, encouragement, and mutual respect. Studies reveal that children raised under such balanced approaches exhibit higher self-motivation, improved academic performance, and stronger family emotional bonds⁸. 

Table: Kadazan-Dusun Parenting Styles (Summary of Findings) 

The widespread adoption of more authoritative styles is closely linked to increased parental education, urbanization, and exposure to modern pedagogical principles, marking a continuous evolution in Kadazan-Dusun child-rearing. 

Unique Customs and Ongoing Adaptation 

The Kadazan-Dusun are also recognized for rituals such as the Kaamatan Harvest Festival, during which the Sumazau dance is performed. Children are introduced to traditional music and dance from a young age, often through community gatherings and play. Such exposures help transmit cultural identity and foster multigenerational attachment, reinforcing a sense of belonging essential to psychological development. 

For visual insight into Kadazan-Dusun practices, the following video offers a glimpse into Kaamatan and associated rituals: Kaamatan: Tale of Harvest – Amazing Borneo Traditional Kadazandusun Music and Dances 

Bajau Infant Care and Parenting Customs 

Newborn Rituals and Early Care 

The Bajau—often called the “sea gypsies”—are the second largest indigenous group in Sabah and are traditionally seafarers, fishermen, or cattle herders. Bajau communities, especially those of the West Coast, practice Islam, and their newborn rites are deeply intertwined with Islamic teachings and animistic survivals⁹¹⁰. 

The birth of a Bajau child is greeted with a blend of religious rites and communal celebration. The Adhan (Islamic call to prayer) is recited in the baby’s ear soon after birth, an essential Sunnah marking the child’s introduction to the faith¹¹. The tahnik ritual—placing a morsel of softened date in the infant’s mouth—is often performed to bless the child. Ritual baths are common, as is the ceremonial cutting and burial of the umbilical cord with prayers for health, spiritual protection, and community acceptance. 

Confinement (Pantang) and Traditional Healing 

Bajau mothers typically undergo a confinement period (pantang), lasting 40–44 days, during which the new mother is cared for by experienced elders or traditional healers (panguling). During this period, mothers and infants are protected from perceived threats by spirits through prescribed taboos (e.g., food avoidance, restrictions on bathing, prohibition of visitors at certain times). Nutritional emphasis is placed on warm foods like fish soup with coconut milk, and specific herbal preparations are utilized to support lactation and recovery. 

Crucially, postnatal care is often managed by an elder rather than a medical professional, and infants may be deprived of early vaccinations due to lack of healthcare access and adherence to tradition. This contributes to higher rates of maternal and infant complications, underlining the need to integrate medical knowledge with customary practice for better health outcomes⁹. 

Healing Rituals: Ngalai 

In cases of unexplained infant illness or persistent crying, Bajau communities—particularly in Kota Belud—may perform the ngalai ritual, mediated by a spiritual healer (peteri). This collective ceremony seeks to restore balance between families and the supernatural, believed to be the source of maladies. The ngalai involves chanting, the use of incense, and symbolic offerings, highlighting the holistic Bajau approach to health as both a physical and spiritual state¹⁰. 

Changing Parenting Styles and Modernization 

Bajau parenting traditionally places emphasis on interdependence, respect for elders, and gradual socialization into community norms. Children learn through observation and imitation, gradually assuming responsibilities in fishing, farming, or household chores. Discipline is administered gently but firmly, with a strong focus on collective wellbeing above individual desire. 

However, as Bajau parents face wider social mobility, increased migration, and interaction with mainstream health care and education, there is growing uptake of modern parenting advice, including emphasis on vaccination, early childhood education, nutrition, and positive emotional reinforcement. Younger Bajau parents increasingly consult online resources, peer WhatsApp groups, and AI-powered applications in addition to input from elders, reflecting broader Malaysian parenting trends³⁹. 

Murut Infant Care and Child-Rearing 

Rituals and Taboos 

The Murut, former hill-dwelling headhunters of Sabah’s interior, represent a smaller population today but are known for intense attachment to their cultural heritage¹². Traditionally non-Muslim until the mid-20th century, the Murut now consist of both Christian and Muslim communities. Newborns are greeted with gratitude rituals that may involve prayers and communal feasting. 

Infant care among Murut communities is characterized by protective taboos and the role of the female midwife (bidan). Immediate postpartum practices include abdominal tying of the mother to prevent uterine prolapse, the provision of massages to relieve cramps, and the avoidance of strenuous housework. The Murut magunatip or bamboo dance, although now a cultural showcase, was formerly performed in ritual contexts to ward off evil spirits and mark important transitions, including postnatal recovery¹²¹³. 

Parenting Norms and Socialization 

Murut child-rearing emphasizes obedience, communal responsibility, and gradual integration of the child into family chores and work. Storytelling, oral tradition, and participation in planting or hunting activities play central roles in socialization and cognitive development. Discipline remains firm and is closely monitored by elders. 

In recent years, increased access to education, Christian mission schools, and health care has led to evolving attitudes, with younger parents combining respect for tradition with gentle, communicative parenting, early literacy, and encouragement of curiosity and play. 

Orang Sungai: The Betimbang and Other Birth Rituals 

Birth Ritual: Betimbang 

The Orang Sungai (literally, “river people”) of Pitas are a sub-ethnic Malay-speaking group known for a distinctive Betimbang ritual performed for babies born during the Islamic month of Safar¹⁴. Traditionally considered an “unlucky” month, Safar infants and their families undergo the Betimbang to achieve spiritual protection and community celebration. 

The ceremony unfolds as follows: 

• A balance scale is prepared—one side holds ritual items (firewood, rice, young coconuts), the other the baby. 

• Equilibrium is sought, symbolizing the balance of physical and spiritual wellbeing. 

• The scale is rotated and, in modern variants, gently swung as the imam recites prayers. 

• The baby’s hair is purified with scented coconut water and trimmed, while relatives surround and symbolically ward off bad spirits by waving coconut leaves. 

• The ceremony concludes with a thanksgiving meal, and ritual items are gifted to the imam. 

Today, the Betimbang has been modernized to use custom platforms and is often conducted jointly with Islamic rituals. Nevertheless, it remains a unique manifestation of hybrid religious and animistic belief, reinforcing social cohesion and familial gratitude. 

Daily Taboos and Guidance 

The Orang Sungai enforce a series of daily taboos for mothers and infants—certain foods, activities, and even modes of sitting are avoided to prevent spiritual harm. Similar to other indigenous groups, contemporary Orang Sungai increasingly consult medical professionals, but deep respect for elders and customary healers remains a hallmark of early childhood care. 

Traditional Confinement Practices and Maternal Recovery 

The confinement period (pantang) is a key feature across Sabah’s communities and reflects a wider Asian pattern influencing maternal and infant health outcomes. Spanning from 30 to 44 days (sometimes longer), confinement serves both physiological and sociocultural functions: allowing mothers to heal with minimal exertion, strengthening milk supply, instilling discipline, and providing emotional support via the extended family network⁵⁷⁶. 

Key elements of traditional confinement include: 

• Food taboos: avoidance of “cooling” foods (e.g., certain fish, vegetables), focus on protein-rich, warming broths, and herbal tonics. 

• Herbal baths and body wraps (bengkung): support muscle healing, uterine contraction, and emotional wellness. 

• Provision of massages: to dispel “wind” and aid circulation. 

• Social norms: minimal visitors, restrictions on movement and exposure to wind or water, dependence on elder female kin or professional confinement ladies. 

While modern medicine has encouraged some modifications—such as advocacy for safe practices, timely vaccinations, and prompt medical intervention for postnatal complications—families across Sabah continue to value the emotional, spiritual, and communal benefits of confinement rituals. 

Comparative Table: Traditional vs. Modern Confinement Practices in Sabah 

As these practices adapt, Sabahan parents are highly selective in blending the most effective aspects of both worlds to nurture mothers and infants in culturally respectful, scientifically sound ways. 

Parenting Styles and Child Development Norms in Sabah 

The Spectrum of Parenting Styles: Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive, and Hybrid Models 

Research on parenting styles among Sabahans reveals a marked transition over recent decades⁸. Traditionally, Sabah’s collectivist context (and much of rural Malaysia) privileged authoritarian approaches—characterized by strict discipline, high parental control, and expectation of obedience. This often included physical correction, verbal admonition, and a focus on conformity and respect for elders. 

However, empirical studies conducted in Sabah now show a growing prevalence of authoritative parenting—balancing parental warmth with structure, supportive communication, and encouragement of autonomy. This shift is especially pronounced among urban or better-educated parents and is linked to positive child outcomes: enhanced self-esteem, better school performance, and improved social skills. 

Permissive and uninvolved styles (low in discipline and/or warmth) remain relatively rare and are generally associated with less favorable developmental outcomes. 

Empirical Insights: Post-Pandemic Reflections 

A 2022 study of 49 parents from Bumiputera (including Kadazan-Dusun) and Chinese backgrounds in Sabah demonstrated that: 

• Authoritative parenting was dominant among both groups but especially among parents with higher educational achievement. 

• Authoritarian parenting correlated with higher conflict and lower parent-child closeness but was still practiced in some rural and less-educated families. 

• Parental responsiveness and emotional closeness predicted healthier eating, better literacy outcomes, and higher social competence among preschool children⁸. 

A more recent report surveying Gen Z and millennial parents (“Bapa Google, Mak WhatsApp: The New Face of Parenting in Malaysia,” 2025) underscores the remix of tradition with technology: Parents now blend advice from elders with WhatsApp chats, AI-powered parenting apps, and deliberate attention to emotional connection over simple obedience. There is a clear, generational movement toward gentle parenting and recognition of the limits and potential harms of corporal punishment, as well as a decline in gendered expectations (e.g., “boys don’t cry”)³. 

Influences of Religion, Modernization, and Urbanization 

Religious practice—whether Islam, Christianity, or animism in its various forms—remains integral to Sabahan child-rearing, influencing everything from the naming ceremony and first hair cut (akin to the Mundan in Indian families) to dietary proscriptions and daily routines¹¹¹⁵¹. Islamic and Christian prayers often coexist or are overlaid on animist rituals, especially in birth and postnatal care. Urbanization and migration have encouraged cross-cultural learning, as families from diverse backgrounds share living spaces, schools, and workplaces. 

Urban parents, compared to their rural counterparts, are more likely to access formal early childhood education, participate in parent support networks, and embrace modern nutritional and vaccination standards. Concurrently, however, they report increased stressors related to work-life balance and maintaining cultural identity in the face of rapid social change. 

Psychological Attachment and Bonding: Scientific and Sociocultural Perspectives 

Theory and Application 

Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, provides a robust psychological lens through which to understand child-parent relationships in Sabah and beyond¹⁶¹⁷. Infants form attachment bonds with primary caregivers based on consistent, responsive, and sensitive care. Secure attachment leads to healthier emotional regulation, resilience, and social competence throughout life. 

Family centrality and communal caregiving in Sabah—where infants receive abundant touch, co-sleep with mothers, and interact frequently with siblings, aunts, and grandparents—tend to facilitate secure attachment styles. Storytelling, music, traditional games, and everyday rituals are woven into these bonds, providing comfort, stability, and a basis for exploration and learning. 

Contemporary Adaptation and Evidence 

As Sabahan parents access greater knowledge, many intentionally nurture bonding through skin-to-skin contact, exclusive breastfeeding for six months, and daily play. Urban mothers, influenced by World Health Organization and Ministry of Health guidelines, increasingly prioritize early attachment behaviors, yet structural pressures (work schedules, economic hardship) can present barriers. 

Modern practitioners in Sabah also emphasize the importance of emotional validation, consistency, and positive discipline over punitive approaches. Programs and literature encourage parents to recognize crying as communication, interpret infants’ cues thoughtfully, and provide environments that foster secure bonds and healthy independence¹⁸¹⁶. 

Health, Nutrition, and Early Childhood Development 

Infant Health: Breastfeeding, Nutrition, and Immunization 

Breastfeeding remains the gold standard for infant nutrition in Sabah and is advocated not only as tradition but also as public health best practice¹⁹²⁰. However, cultural taboos, work pressures, and in some cases, misinformed formula marketing, create obstacles for exclusive breastfeeding. Faith organizations—including Catholic parishes—play an active role in promoting breastfeeding as both sacred responsibility and community norm, advocating the creation of mother/family rooms for nursing and urging inclusive, compassionate support for working mothers. 

Nutrition during infancy is influenced by both ethnic beliefs (e.g., avoidance of “windy” or “cooling” foods) and contemporary recommendations for protein, iron, calcium, Omega-3 fatty acids, and vitamins. Traditional cooking methods using local fish, rice, and greens are being cross-evaluated with evidence-based guidelines; when properly balanced, traditional diets can offer substantial health benefits, but gaps in education or income can pose risks for undernutrition or delayed growth. 

Immunization rates among indigenous groups, especially in remote regions, fluctuate due to barriers of access, belief in traditional medicine, and lack of awareness. Outreach programs by the Ministry of Health, supported by international partners such as UNICEF, aim to close these gaps by integrating health promotion into cultural practices. 

Early Childhood Development: Norms and Milestones 

Malaysian and international pediatric protocols are widely promoted in hospitals and clinics throughout Sabah. Key developmental milestones—such as gross and fine motor skills, speech/language acquisition, social play, and emotional regulation—are monitored according to age-specific guidelines, with interventions provided through public, private, and NGO-supported child health centers²¹¹⁸. 

Indigenous games and familial socialization play a critical role in facilitating cognitive and emotional development. Traditional puzzle-based games made from natural materials foster memory, problem-solving, and patience²²¹³. Play-based learning, now emphasized in kindergartens and early childhood centers, echoes ancestral practices of learning by doing and collective participation. 

Traditional Games and Mother-Child Interactions 

Traditional Sabahan games—such as rampanau (walking on stilts), talipung, and complex puzzle toys crafted from wood, rattan, or palm—continue to serve as vital educational tools in the transmission of intelligence, patience, and sociability. Reintroduced into modern education festivals and urban play centers, these games provide a non-digital alternative for fostering gross and fine motor skills, creative thinking, and cross-generational bonding²²¹³. 

Children and mothers collaborate in crafting, playing, and storytelling around these games, ensuring the preservation of cultural memory and the nurturing of secure attachment and social learning. 

Government Programs, NGOs, and Early Childhood Services 

The Sabah state government and numerous NGOs have invested heavily in early childhood welfare. Organizations such as Persatuan Tadika Sabah and Jabatan Hal Ehwal Wanita Sabah collaborate with the Ministry of Education to offer teacher training, enrich early childhood curricula, and raise public awareness of developmental health, learning, and safety²³²⁴. 

Outreach to rural and remote communities is an ongoing challenge, exacerbated by geographic barriers and wide socio-economic disparities. Alternative Learning Centers—often run in partnership with UNICEF—address education gaps for stateless and undocumented children, while mobile health clinics target immunization and nutritional needs². 

Religious bodies, including mosques and churches, provide additional layers of social support, lactation counseling, and even mentorship for young parents, emphasizing the importance of intersectoral collaboration in improving child wellbeing across Sabah’s diverse population. 

Video Resources Illustrating Sabah Parenting Practices 

• KITA: Sabah Celebrating Diversity—Film Documenting Real Life in Sabah (2023–2025) A feature-length documentary showing the diversity, realities, and strengths of Sabah’s people, including parenting and child-rearing diversity. 

• AskMeDoctor! NIVEA BABY: Bonding Tips for Newborns Practical video featuring Malaysian experts and mothers on newborn bonding, gentle care, and the use of touch and eye contact for emotional connection. 

• Motherhood Malaysia Video Library: Local Parenting Routines & Baby Care Extensive collection covering newborn routines, baby hygiene, nutrition (including importance of Omega-3), traditional beliefs, and modern evidence-based care. 

• Kadazandusun Traditional Music, Dance, and Rituals Showcase of Sumazau and other dances performed during celebrations, illustrating community participation in early child socialization. 

• Kaamatan: Tale of Harvest – Amazing Borneo Tour A look at ritual festivals where child participation and cultural transmission are key. 

Challenges, Barriers, and Ongoing Evolution 

Despite progress, significant challenges persist in infant and child care in Sabah: 

• Access to Health and Education: Remote and marginalized communities (including Bajau Laut, stateless, and migrant populations) face barriers to regular health checks, immunizations, and school entry, often due to poverty, lack of documentation, or social exclusion². 

• Integration of Tradition and Modernity: Some traditional practices, while culturally meaningful, can pose risks if not adapted to modern knowledge (e.g., delays in health visits, misunderstandings about vaccines or nutrition). 

• Urbanization and Technology: Migration to cities brings opportunities, but also introduces new stressors (loss of kin support, increased screen time for children, erosion of traditional play). 

• Gender and Parenting Roles: While gender norms remain strong, there is an emerging recognition of flexibility in parenting roles, with greater acceptance of fathers’ active involvement and nontraditional aspirations for daughters and sons alike. 

The path forward involves adaptive integration: preserving cultural heritage and community support while ensuring all Sabah children have access to evidence-based, nurturing care that supports optimal physical, cognitive, and emotional development. 

Conclusion: Toward Equitable, Culturally-Rooted, and Child-Centered Nurturance 

Parenting in Sabah, shaped by a confluence of indigenous wisdom, religious faith, modern psychology, and practical adaptation, offers a profound case study in the coexistence—and at times, creative tension—of tradition and innovation. The essential challenge for Sabahan families, policymakers, and professionals is to honor and adapt the best of both worlds: ensuring that rituals, communal practices, and ancestral games persist as vital sources of identity and resilience, while safeguarding the health and autonomy of mothers and infants through engagement with science and social policy. 

For the next generation to thrive, it is vital that all actors—family, community, government, and civil society—continue this dialogue, working together to ensure every child in Sabah is cherished, protected, and supported to grow into a healthy, confident, and culturally literate citizen of the world. 

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