Parenting in Indonesia
Raising Young Babies in Indonesia: Cultural Practices, Parenting Styles, and Developmental Approaches

Thuy Bui
Introduction
Indonesia, the world's fourth most populous nation, is not only an archipelago of over 17,000 islands but also a mosaic of more than 300 ethnic groups, each with distinct traditions, languages, faiths, and approaches to child-rearing. Within this diversity lies a remarkable array of parental practices and cultural rituals, which shape the early development of Indonesian children from the very first moments of life. In recent decades, Indonesian parenting has attracted growing interest from scholars in anthropology, psychology, and developmental science, partly due to sweeping changes in the social, economic, and political fabric of the country.
The Indonesian government has made substantial investments in early childhood education, health, and protection, aiming to foster a ‘Golden Indonesia’ by 2045—a vision that underscores the criticality of the nation's youngest citizens1. The convergence of tradition and modernity, local customs and national policy, economic constraints and technological advancement, all color the lived experiences of Indonesian families as they raise their babies.
This report provides an expansive, evidence-driven exploration of how Indonesian people raise their young children, combining insights from scientific research, government guidelines, cross-cultural perspectives, and illustrated with relevant multimedia examples. Key topics include traditional postpartum rituals, cultural values and parenting styles, early education, sleep and caregiving arrangements, feeding practices, emotional bonding, socialization through community, and the evolving policy landscape. The report strives to present these rich, nuanced practices for an international audience, analyzing both enduring traditions and transformative trends.
I. Traditional Postpartum Rituals and Customs
A. Ceremonial Practices Surrounding Birth and Early Infancy
Across Indonesia, childbirth is woven into a tapestry of ritual and reverence, deeply influenced by ethnicity, religion, and local belief systems23. For example, among the Javanese, the “Mitoni” or "Tingkeban" is a celebrated seventh-month pregnancy ceremony, involving holy bathing with scented water and flowers, prayers for both mother and baby, and communal blessings. The symbolism embedded in these rituals reflects hopes for safety, health, and harmonious family life.
After birth, various ethnic groups observe unique traditions. In Sundanese (West Java) custom, newborns may receive special herbal treatments and protections against unseen forces (such as wearing a ‘bangle’—a rhizome believed to guard against spirits)4. Ceremonial rituals also accompany the newborn’s early days, such as the ‘babaran’, ‘pasaran’, and ‘pitonan’ ceremonies held at five-day and thirty-five-day intervals, serving both spiritual and social functions5.
A widely shared custom is the ceremonial burial of the placenta. Many Indonesian families, regardless of religion or ethnicity, treat the placenta with reverence, often burying it in a special location near the house or in a dedicated spot, sometimes accompanied by prayers or offerings642. Among the Balinese, the placenta (ari-ari) may be washed, placed in a coconut, and ritually hung on the sacred Bukak tree, symbolizing a return to origins and connecting the child spiritually and ecologically to the land63. In other areas, the placenta is buried and marked, sometimes with a light, serving both as a spiritual tether and a symbolic protection.
These rites do more than signal personal transitions; they establish the newborn's place in kin, community, and cosmos. The involvement of extended family and neighbors in such ceremonies strengthens social bonds, reinforces shared values, and transmits culture across generations.
B. Postpartum Maternal Care and Recovery
Following childbirth, many Indonesian women engage in traditional postpartum practices aimed at restoring health and spiritual balance. The use of ‘jamu’—herbal drinks made from local spices and roots—is prevalent for recovery, believed to purify, provide energy, and stimulate lactation3. Postnatal belly binding with a ‘bengkung’ (a long cloth wrap) is also widespread, intended to support the uterus and body’s return to pre-pregnancy form.
The early postnatal period is often marked by restrictions, such as keeping the newborn at home for the first 40 days, intended both for immune protection and spiritual safeguarding3. The role of older female relatives and traditional birth attendants remains significant, providing guidance, practical support, and transmission of inherited knowledge.
II. Cultural Values and Parenting Styles
A. Collectivism, Community, and the “Gotong Royong” Ethos
Indonesian parenting has long been shaped by values of collectivism—an orientation that prioritizes group harmony, family integrity, and mutual support over individualistic pursuits78. The foundational concept of “gotong royong” (mutual cooperation) is not only a principle of social organization but also a lived reality in child-rearing. Extended families and communities commonly share caregiving duties, transmitting a sense of responsibility, empathy, and interdependence89.
Family gatherings, community rituals, and reciprocal labor (from communal cleanups to shared festivities) reinforce the idea that raising a child is a collective endeavor. In rural areas especially, community norms, spiritual leaders, and local customs all contribute to shaping beliefs about parenting and child development.
However, transformations in Indonesian society—urbanization, mobility, individualism, and socioeconomic change—have led to evolving interpretations and practices. While community support remains a bedrock in many regions, some urban and wealthier families are shifting toward more nuclear or individualized models10.
B. Parenting Styles: Authoritarian, Authoritative, and Permissive Patterns
Indonesia’s rich cultural diversity manifests in varied parenting styles across ethnicities, regions, and urban-rural divides. Research suggests that traditionally, Indonesian parents have leaned toward more authoritarian practices—valuing obedience, respect for authority, and collective welfare over autonomy1112. However, contemporary scholarship indicates a dynamic interplay of authoritarian, authoritative (warm but firm), and, in some cases, permissive approaches, influenced by socioeconomic status, exposure to global parenting trends, and educational attainment101312.
Urban parents—especially those exposed to modern, digital influences—may favor more independence and authoritative guidance. In contrast, rural and traditional families commonly uphold conformity and communal discipline. Intriguingly, Indonesian parenting is increasingly described as “psychological interdependence” (per Kagitcibasi): parents encourage both autonomy and achievement while maintaining strong emotional family ties14. This hybrid model reflects both tradition and adaptation, promoting self-reliance within a framework of mutual obligation.
Disciplinary techniques vary, with physical punishment still present, particularly where older cultural norms dominate, but positive, dialogic approaches are promoted by child development experts and government guidelines.
C. The Role of Religion in Parenting
Indonesia’s religious pluralism—predominantly Muslim, with significant Christian, Hindu, and Buddhist minorities—infuses parenting with specific values and obligations. In Muslim families, for example, religious rituals (such as “akikah”—an animal sacrifice on the birth of a child) and moral teachings (such as nurturing ‘sholeh/ah’ or righteous character) are central to early child-rearing11.
Religious practices often shape attitudes toward discipline, socialization, education, and even dietary choices. The transmission of faith and values is seen not as solely parental duty, but as a holistic responsibility of extended kin and religious community.
III. Early Childhood Education (PAUD) and Developmental Guidelines
A. National Framework: PAUD and the Golden Years
Indonesia’s government has made early childhood education (Pendidikan Anak Usia Dini, or PAUD) a pillar of its child development strategy to realize its demographic and economic aspirations. The "golden years" conception directs special focus to ages 0–6, when 90% of brain development occurs115. The aim is to prepare children holistically for life-long learning, health, and productive citizenship.
The launch of the Early Childhood Development Index (ECDI) 2030 demonstrates this commitment, supported by collaborations between government ministries, UNICEF, NGOs, and academia1. Key components of the policy framework include:
Minimum Service Standards (MSS): Mandating at least one year of quality preprimary education for all children by 2030, harmonizing public and private provision15.
Curricular Guidelines: Holistic development is stressed, spanning religious/moral, cognitive, language, motor-physical, socio-emotional, and artistic dimensions1516. Activities emphasize active, contextual, play-based learning, and customized themes relevant to local culture.
Teacher Qualifications: Early childhood educators (guru PAUD) are expected to have specialized training, with ongoing professional development encouraged15.
Despite these reforms, challenges persist. Enrollment in PAUD remains uneven, with nearly half of Indonesian children aged 3–6 not participating before entering primary school, and vast disparities between urban, rural, and remote regions. Quality assurance is a further issue, as most (99%) PAUD centers are privately operated, with less than half accredited by the national board as of 2022.
B. Parental and Community Involvement in Early Education
Consistent with collectivist values, Indonesian early education policy includes strong endorsements for parental and community engagement. Research demonstrates that parental involvement, particularly at home, correlates positively with children’s academic and socio-emotional outcomes, though patterns differ by region and socioeconomic status17. Rural parents may express involvement through informal or community-based activities, while urban parents might participate more directly in institutional PAUD programs.
Community organizations, religious groups, and local social structures often supplement formal education, providing both material and emotional support. The government’s integrative approach seeks to bridge health, nutrition, protection, and education services for young children, addressing persistent inequalities and leveraging local wisdom.
C. Recent Trends and Innovations
Digital technologies and shifts in social norms—accelerated by the pandemic and growing middle class—are introducing new influences on early childhood education. Innovations include digital parent education, online teacher training, and apps for remote learning. Nevertheless, digital divides and access issues remain major obstacles, with rural and poor families often left underserved.
IV. Sleeping Arrangements and Babywearing
A. Bedsharing, Cosleeping, and Rooming-in Practices
Sleeping arrangements in Indonesia are shaped by traditions of close physical proximity, fostered by values of attachment and collective living. Bedsharing—where the infant sleeps in the same bed as a parent (usually the mother)—and cosleeping (in the same room, but on separate surfaces) are widespread, especially in the first years of life18. The “selendang” or baby sling, used both for carrying and as a sleeping tool, is a staple of infant care, keeping babies physically close and accessible for feeding and soothing19.
Mothers typically respond quickly to a baby’s cries, reinforced by cultural expectations and social oversight from neighbors or relatives. This proximity facilitates breastfeeding on demand, strengthens bonding, and mitigates risks of neglect. In Sundanese families, for instance, children may sleep with their mothers until age four and are often breastfed on demand for the first two to three years.
Cosleeping is not without its challenges. Research documents increased maternal nighttime awakenings and some disrupted parental sleep. However, many Indonesian mothers accept this trade-off for the perceived psychosocial and practical benefits, including enhanced security, convenience for night feedings, and emotional comfort1820.
B. The Cultural Importance of Babywearing
The “gendongan” or “selendang” (traditional cloth sling) remains a culturally salient and widely used method of babywearing in Indonesia to this day. Historical records and contemporary online marketplaces show the enduring popularity of both traditional and modern selendang styles, reflecting cultural continuity and ongoing adaptation19. Babywearing enables caregivers to perform daily tasks while maintaining constant contact, believed to be beneficial for the infant's development and mother-infant attachment.
Furthermore, babywearing and cosleeping are seen as ways to minimize neglect, maximize warmth and security, and support the normative expectation that mothers remain highly responsive to their young children.
