Parenting in Indonesia

Introduction 

Indonesia, the world's fourth most populous nation, is not only an archipelago of over 17,000 islands but also a mosaic of more than 300 ethnic groups, each with distinct traditions, languages, faiths, and approaches to child-rearing. Within this diversity lies a remarkable array of parental practices and cultural rituals, which shape the early development of Indonesian children from the very first moments of life. In recent decades, Indonesian parenting has attracted growing interest from scholars in anthropology, psychology, and developmental science, partly due to sweeping changes in the social, economic, and political fabric of the country. 

The Indonesian government has made substantial investments in early childhood education, health, and protection, aiming to foster a ‘Golden Indonesia’ by 2045—a vision that underscores the criticality of the nation's youngest citizens¹. The convergence of tradition and modernity, local customs and national policy, economic constraints and technological advancement, all color the lived experiences of Indonesian families as they raise their babies. 

This report provides an expansive, evidence-driven exploration of how Indonesian people raise their young children, combining insights from scientific research, government guidelines, cross-cultural perspectives, and illustrated with relevant multimedia examples. Key topics include traditional postpartum rituals, cultural values and parenting styles, early education, sleep and caregiving arrangements, feeding practices, emotional bonding, socialization through community, and the evolving policy landscape. The report strives to present these rich, nuanced practices for an international audience, analyzing both enduring traditions and transformative trends. 

I. Traditional Postpartum Rituals and Customs 

A. Ceremonial Practices Surrounding Birth and Early Infancy 

Across Indonesia, childbirth is woven into a tapestry of ritual and reverence, deeply influenced by ethnicity, religion, and local belief systems²³. For example, among the Javanese, the “Mitoni” or "Tingkeban" is a celebrated seventh-month pregnancy ceremony, involving holy bathing with scented water and flowers, prayers for both mother and baby, and communal blessings. The symbolism embedded in these rituals reflects hopes for safety, health, and harmonious family life. 

After birth, various ethnic groups observe unique traditions. In Sundanese (West Java) custom, newborns may receive special herbal treatments and protections against unseen forces (such as wearing a ‘bangle’—a rhizome believed to guard against spirits)⁴. Ceremonial rituals also accompany the newborn’s early days, such as the ‘babaran’, ‘pasaran’, and ‘pitonan’ ceremonies held at five-day and thirty-five-day intervals, serving both spiritual and social functions⁵. 

A widely shared custom is the ceremonial burial of the placenta. Many Indonesian families, regardless of religion or ethnicity, treat the placenta with reverence, often burying it in a special location near the house or in a dedicated spot, sometimes accompanied by prayers or offerings⁶⁴². Among the Balinese, the placenta (ari-ari) may be washed, placed in a coconut, and ritually hung on the sacred Bukak tree, symbolizing a return to origins and connecting the child spiritually and ecologically to the land⁶³. In other areas, the placenta is buried and marked, sometimes with a light, serving both as a spiritual tether and a symbolic protection. 

These rites do more than signal personal transitions; they establish the newborn's place in kin, community, and cosmos. The involvement of extended family and neighbors in such ceremonies strengthens social bonds, reinforces shared values, and transmits culture across generations. 

B. Postpartum Maternal Care and Recovery 

Following childbirth, many Indonesian women engage in traditional postpartum practices aimed at restoring health and spiritual balance. The use of ‘jamu’—herbal drinks made from local spices and roots—is prevalent for recovery, believed to purify, provide energy, and stimulate lactation³. Postnatal belly binding with a ‘bengkung’ (a long cloth wrap) is also widespread, intended to support the uterus and body’s return to pre-pregnancy form. 

The early postnatal period is often marked by restrictions, such as keeping the newborn at home for the first 40 days, intended both for immune protection and spiritual safeguarding³. The role of older female relatives and traditional birth attendants remains significant, providing guidance, practical support, and transmission of inherited knowledge. 

II. Cultural Values and Parenting Styles 

A. Collectivism, Community, and the “Gotong Royong” Ethos 

Indonesian parenting has long been shaped by values of collectivism—an orientation that prioritizes group harmony, family integrity, and mutual support over individualistic pursuits⁷⁸. The foundational concept of “gotong royong” (mutual cooperation) is not only a principle of social organization but also a lived reality in child-rearing. Extended families and communities commonly share caregiving duties, transmitting a sense of responsibility, empathy, and interdependence⁸⁹. 

Family gatherings, community rituals, and reciprocal labor (from communal cleanups to shared festivities) reinforce the idea that raising a child is a collective endeavor. In rural areas especially, community norms, spiritual leaders, and local customs all contribute to shaping beliefs about parenting and child development. 

However, transformations in Indonesian society—urbanization, mobility, individualism, and socioeconomic change—have led to evolving interpretations and practices. While community support remains a bedrock in many regions, some urban and wealthier families are shifting toward more nuclear or individualized models¹⁰. 

B. Parenting Styles: Authoritarian, Authoritative, and Permissive Patterns 

Indonesia’s rich cultural diversity manifests in varied parenting styles across ethnicities, regions, and urban-rural divides. Research suggests that traditionally, Indonesian parents have leaned toward more authoritarian practices—valuing obedience, respect for authority, and collective welfare over autonomy¹¹¹². However, contemporary scholarship indicates a dynamic interplay of authoritarian, authoritative (warm but firm), and, in some cases, permissive approaches, influenced by socioeconomic status, exposure to global parenting trends, and educational attainment¹⁰¹³¹². 

Urban parents—especially those exposed to modern, digital influences—may favor more independence and authoritative guidance. In contrast, rural and traditional families commonly uphold conformity and communal discipline. Intriguingly, Indonesian parenting is increasingly described as “psychological interdependence” (per Kagitcibasi): parents encourage both autonomy and achievement while maintaining strong emotional family ties¹⁴. This hybrid model reflects both tradition and adaptation, promoting self-reliance within a framework of mutual obligation. 

Disciplinary techniques vary, with physical punishment still present, particularly where older cultural norms dominate, but positive, dialogic approaches are promoted by child development experts and government guidelines. 

C. The Role of Religion in Parenting 

Indonesia’s religious pluralism—predominantly Muslim, with significant Christian, Hindu, and Buddhist minorities—infuses parenting with specific values and obligations. In Muslim families, for example, religious rituals (such as “akikah”—an animal sacrifice on the birth of a child) and moral teachings (such as nurturing ‘sholeh/ah’ or righteous character) are central to early child-rearing¹¹. 

Religious practices often shape attitudes toward discipline, socialization, education, and even dietary choices. The transmission of faith and values is seen not as solely parental duty, but as a holistic responsibility of extended kin and religious community. 

III. Early Childhood Education (PAUD) and Developmental Guidelines 

A. National Framework: PAUD and the Golden Years 

Indonesia’s government has made early childhood education (Pendidikan Anak Usia Dini, or PAUD) a pillar of its child development strategy to realize its demographic and economic aspirations. The "golden years" conception directs special focus to ages 0–6, when 90% of brain development occurs¹¹⁵. The aim is to prepare children holistically for life-long learning, health, and productive citizenship. 

The launch of the Early Childhood Development Index (ECDI) 2030 demonstrates this commitment, supported by collaborations between government ministries, UNICEF, NGOs, and academia¹. Key components of the policy framework include: 

• Minimum Service Standards (MSS): Mandating at least one year of quality preprimary education for all children by 2030, harmonizing public and private provision¹⁵. 

• Curricular Guidelines: Holistic development is stressed, spanning religious/moral, cognitive, language, motor-physical, socio-emotional, and artistic dimensions¹⁵¹⁶. Activities emphasize active, contextual, play-based learning, and customized themes relevant to local culture. 

• Teacher Qualifications: Early childhood educators (guru PAUD) are expected to have specialized training, with ongoing professional development encouraged¹⁵. 

Despite these reforms, challenges persist. Enrollment in PAUD remains uneven, with nearly half of Indonesian children aged 3–6 not participating before entering primary school, and vast disparities between urban, rural, and remote regions. Quality assurance is a further issue, as most (99%) PAUD centers are privately operated, with less than half accredited by the national board as of 2022. 

B. Parental and Community Involvement in Early Education 

Consistent with collectivist values, Indonesian early education policy includes strong endorsements for parental and community engagement. Research demonstrates that parental involvement, particularly at home, correlates positively with children’s academic and socio-emotional outcomes, though patterns differ by region and socioeconomic status¹⁷. Rural parents may express involvement through informal or community-based activities, while urban parents might participate more directly in institutional PAUD programs. 

Community organizations, religious groups, and local social structures often supplement formal education, providing both material and emotional support. The government’s integrative approach seeks to bridge health, nutrition, protection, and education services for young children, addressing persistent inequalities and leveraging local wisdom. 

C. Recent Trends and Innovations 

Digital technologies and shifts in social norms—accelerated by the pandemic and growing middle class—are introducing new influences on early childhood education. Innovations include digital parent education, online teacher training, and apps for remote learning. Nevertheless, digital divides and access issues remain major obstacles, with rural and poor families often left underserved. 

IV. Sleeping Arrangements and Babywearing 

A. Bedsharing, Cosleeping, and Rooming-in Practices 

Sleeping arrangements in Indonesia are shaped by traditions of close physical proximity, fostered by values of attachment and collective living. Bedsharing—where the infant sleeps in the same bed as a parent (usually the mother)—and cosleeping (in the same room, but on separate surfaces) are widespread, especially in the first years of life¹⁸. The “selendang” or baby sling, used both for carrying and as a sleeping tool, is a staple of infant care, keeping babies physically close and accessible for feeding and soothing¹⁹. 

Mothers typically respond quickly to a baby’s cries, reinforced by cultural expectations and social oversight from neighbors or relatives. This proximity facilitates breastfeeding on demand, strengthens bonding, and mitigates risks of neglect. In Sundanese families, for instance, children may sleep with their mothers until age four and are often breastfed on demand for the first two to three years. 

Cosleeping is not without its challenges. Research documents increased maternal nighttime awakenings and some disrupted parental sleep. However, many Indonesian mothers accept this trade-off for the perceived psychosocial and practical benefits, including enhanced security, convenience for night feedings, and emotional comfort¹⁸²⁰. 

B. The Cultural Importance of Babywearing 

The “gendongan” or “selendang” (traditional cloth sling) remains a culturally salient and widely used method of babywearing in Indonesia to this day. Historical records and contemporary online marketplaces show the enduring popularity of both traditional and modern selendang styles, reflecting cultural continuity and ongoing adaptation¹⁹. Babywearing enables caregivers to perform daily tasks while maintaining constant contact, believed to be beneficial for the infant's development and mother-infant attachment. 

Furthermore, babywearing and cosleeping are seen as ways to minimize neglect, maximize warmth and security, and support the normative expectation that mothers remain highly responsive to their young children. 

V. Feeding Practices: Breastfeeding, Prelacteal Feeds, and Complementary Feeding 

A. Breastfeeding Initiation and Patterns 

Breastfeeding is nearly universal in Indonesia and is culturally regarded as the normative, preferred mode of infant feeding²¹²². However, both initiation times and exclusivity rates reveal regional and behavioral disparities. 

• Early Initiation of Breastfeeding (EIBF): Defined as initiating breastfeeding within the first hour of birth, EIBF is associated with lower infant mortality and enhanced mother-child bonding. While Indonesia has made notable progress—EIBF prevalence has risen from 39.6% in 2007 to 56.5% in 2017—regional inequalities and barriers persist, particularly for cesarean deliveries, first-time mothers, and those giving birth in general hospitals²¹²³. 

• Exclusive Breastfeeding (EBF): WHO and Indonesian government guidelines advocate for exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months. Indonesian EBF rates have improved (from 32.4% in 2007 to 52% in 2017), yet fall short of national and global targets. Barriers include maternal education, urban-rural divides, perceptions of insufficient milk, early return to work, and lack of postnatal support²²²³. 

B. Prelacteal Feeding and Cultural Beliefs 

Despite public health efforts, the practice of prelacteal feeding—giving newborns food or liquid other than breastmilk before breastfeeding is established—remains common, with prevalence estimated between 44% and 83% in different regions²⁴. Formula, other milk, water, and honey are typical prelacteal substances. The drivers include cultural tradition (e.g., colostrum may be perceived as unclean), advice from elders, perceptions of hunger or insufficient milk, and occasionally health provider recommendation. 

Scientific evidence warns that prelacteal feeds increase risks of infection, compromise exclusive breastfeeding, and bypass the immune benefits of colostrum,²¹²⁴. Interventions focusing on maternal education, promoting early skin-to-skin contact, and support from birth attendants have shown effectiveness in reducing these practices. 

C. Complementary Feeding 

Starting at 6 months, most Indonesian parents introduce complementary foods, traditionally consisting of mashed rice, vegetables, finely shredded meat, and, regionally, local staples and fruits. The Ministry of Health and PAUD standards advocate for gradual, safe introduction, with continued breastfeeding up to 2 years or beyond. However, stunting and malnutrition remain public health challenges, particularly among the rural poor, linked to dietary diversity, sanitation, and knowledge gaps. 

D. Government Regulation and Support 

Since 2012, the Indonesian government has enacted robust regulations supporting EBF and EIBF, explicitly criminalizing the marketing of infant formula to mothers of infants less than six months and requiring health staff to counsel and assist mothers²¹²². Maternity leave and breastfeeding-friendly public spaces are promoted in policy, though enforcement and implementation vary widely by region and economic sector. 

VI. Emotional Bonding and Attachment 

A. Patterns of Attachment and Responsive Care 

Attachment theory, developed primarily in Western contexts, finds both parallels and divergences in Indonesian practice. Empirical studies have demonstrated that Indonesian mother-child dyads exhibit global rates of secure attachment, with some cultural nuances—namely, a higher frequency of “resistant” insecure attachment, possibly reflecting inconsistent but generally responsive caregiving under social and economic stress²⁵. 

Maternal sensitivity and promptness in responding to a baby’s signals are highly valued. In Sundanese communities, a mother’s slow response to crying is readily criticized by family or neighbors, reinforcing a social expectation of vigilant, empathic caregiving. Widespread babywearing, co-sleeping, and prolonged breastfeeding arrangements support continual physical and emotional proximity. 

B. Cultural Concepts of Love, Discipline, and Intergenerational Transmission 

Local wisdom, expressed in proverbs and stories, equates children with “twin siblings” (e.g., the Sundanese ‘dulur sakembaran’, referring to both child and placenta), underscoring their precious, interconnected status within family and society⁴. While parents are expected to exercise authority, the ideal “good parent” also manifests gentleness (‘kasih sayang’, affection) and exemplary moral character. 

However, stressors such as poverty, urban migration, and marital strain can diminish consistent sensitive caregiving. Studies indicate that childhood maltreatment and maternal histories of adversity may, in certain settings (such as Makassar’s urban slums), negatively affect maternal sensitivity, illustrating intergenerational transmission of parenting styles²⁶. 

Notably, extended families and neighborhoods historically buffer against adversity, with collective caring frequently filling gaps left by individual or family hardship. Nevertheless, the decreasing involvement of the broader community in urbanized settings may erode these safety nets. 

C. Encouraging Independence Within Emotional Security 

The emerging “autonomous-related self,” as described by Kagitcibasi and evidenced in modern Indonesian families, combines the encouragement of child independence and achievement with the maintenance of strong emotional ties. In this view, a child’s success is shared and celebrated collectively, but children are also given opportunities to explore, make choices, and learn self-regulation¹⁴. 

Emotional socialization typically occurs within both intimate family settings and community activities. Practices like story-telling, communal play, and group rituals facilitate empathy, emotional literacy, and social communication. 

VII. Socialization and Community Involvement 

A. Cultivating Gotong Royong from Early Childhood 

From the earliest years, children are imbued with the ethos of mutual cooperation (gotong royong), both at home and in educational settings. Early childhood education curricula incorporate activities that teach collaboration, sharing, helping others, and community-mindedness—core pillars of Indonesian civic life²⁷⁷. 

Empirical research on PAUD centers highlights classroom projects based on local culture (e.g., Betawi traditional crafts or dances) to foster cooperation, empathy, and social responsibility. Teachers are encouraged to act as facilitators, creating group tasks and peer-learning scenarios to strengthen solidarity from the start. 

B. The Role of Extended Family and Communal Childcare 

Multi-generational and extended family households remain common in much of Indonesia, particularly outside major cities. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and sometimes non-relative neighbors often participate in caregiving, advising parents, and socializing children into communal values⁹. Grandparental support is not only emotional but may also be critical in ensuring child nutrition, especially during crises or economic downturns. 

In some cases, neighbors or distant relatives serve as alloparents, reflecting both kin-based and communal notions of responsibility. Engagement is sometimes formalized through community groups and religious organizations or occurs informally through daily life. 

C. Ritual and Festival as Sites of Social Learning 

Indonesian children participate early in communal ceremonies—religious festivals, circumcisions, funerals, and harvest celebrations—imbibing shared narratives and cultural knowledge. Events like “akikah,” “selapanan” (Javanese 35-day rites), and local slametans provide both rite-of-passage experiences and practical lessons in cooperation, patience, and generosity⁵²⁸. 

D. Impact of Changing Social Structures 

While older forms of communal child-sharing persist, urbanization, rising economic disparities, and individualization challenge their maintenance, particularly in fast-growing cities where nuclear families are more common and trust among neighbors is less automatic. The government and NGOs sometimes attempt to bridge these gaps through community-based child protection and encouragement of volunteerism in child development programs. 

VIII. Government Policies and Legal Framework 

A. Child Protection and National Strategy 

Indonesia has considerably strengthened its legal framework for child protection over the past two decades, responding both to international obligations (such as the Convention on the Rights of the Child) and domestic challenges. Core components include: 

• Law No. 35/2014 on Child Protection: This law provides robust definitions and sanctions regarding child welfare, explicitly prohibiting abuse, neglect, and exploitation and mandating social rehabilitation and psychosocial assistance for victims²⁹³⁰. 

• National Child and Youth Surveys & Strategic Plans: These instruments monitor current conditions and inform policy, particularly regarding issues of violence and inequality³¹. 

• Multi-sectoral Approaches: Ministries coordinate programs combining health, education, social welfare, and legal enforcement. Decentralized governance, however, creates implementation gaps and resource inconsistencies. 

B. Early Childhood Education and Holistic Development (PAUD HI) 

Legal and policy provisions for early childhood education specify standards in curriculum, educator qualification, facilities, financing, and parental engagement¹⁵¹⁶. The government also promotes a holistic-integrative model (PAUD HI) that integrates health, nutrition, care, and safety in child development and explicitly addresses disparities in access and quality by region and socioeconomic status. 

Implementation remains uneven—a 2025 government review noted persistent shortfalls in trained staff, budget constraints, and service delivery in remote “3T” (frontier) regions. National and local governments are tasked with forming multi-stakeholder collaborations to ensure that every Indonesian child has the right to holistic, quality development services¹⁶. 

C. Breastfeeding, Nutrition, and Maternal Health Regulations 

A series of health decrees and regulations—most notably the exclusive breastfeeding (EBF) law (2012)—mandate healthcare professionals to educate and support breastfeeding mothers, restrict formula marketing, and guarantee basic maternal health and nutrition standards²¹²²²³. Community health services (such as "Posyandu") offer weigh-ins, nutritional counseling, immunizations, and education on feeding and childcare. 

D. Rights-Based and Inclusive Approaches 

The recent policy emphasis includes accessibility and inclusivity, aiming to reach children with disabilities, marginalized ethnic groups, and those in poverty. Integrating child voices in decision-making, creating child-friendly schools and environments, and monitoring outcomes via Early Childhood Development Indices are increasingly prioritized. 

IX. Academic Research and Policy Perspectives: Summary Table 

In this table, each key thematic area in Indonesian parenting is associated with cultural roots, relevant policy/legal frameworks, supported scientific findings, and current trends, offering a structured synthesis for international comparison. 

X. Multimedia and Video Illustrations 

For those wishing to observe Indonesian parenting culture firsthand, multiple videos and multimedia resources are available, offering insight into daily practices, expert perspectives, and community life. 

• Talkshow Parenting: Implementing 7 Habits of Great Indonesian Children: Watch on YouTube – This talkshow, featuring parenting experts and teachers, explores practical strategies rooted in Indonesian values for developing children’s character and habits. 

• Parenting Experiences in Indigenous Balinese Village: Conference Video – Discusses communal care, rituals, and the role of family and tradition in child development. 

• Early Childhood Parenting Practices in Indonesia (Population Review): Article video summary – A research-based summary of the findings on early parenting in Indonesia. 

• Mother-Child Attachment in Indonesia: Attachment Study – Illustration of emotional bonding in one of Indonesia's largest ethnic groups. 

• Personal Birth and Parenting Stories: Aulia’s Story – Blog – A Javanese mother's real-life reflections on traditions, postnatal care, and family involvement. 

• Traditional Pregnancy Practices in Indonesia: Nona Woman – Photos and explanations of pregnancy and early postpartum customs across the archipelago. 

• Everyday Baby Care Video: Hospital Birth in Jakarta – A family documents their daughter’s birth and welcomes her into their Muslim household. 

Conclusion 

Indonesian child-rearing is characterized by a unique interplay of time-honored traditions, community-centered values, and adaption to modern realities. The strength of collectivism—manifested in rituals, mutual aid, and the shared rearing ethos of ‘gotong royong’—continues to pervade most aspects of child development, even as socioeconomic change and urbanization introduce new dynamics into the family and community landscape. 

Government policy has increasingly responded to scientific research and demographic realities, emphasizing early childhood investment, holistic integration of health and education, legal protections, and support for breastfeeding and parental involvement. Still, significant barriers remain—particularly in the form of regional inequality, lack of resources, and an incomplete bridging of tradition and modernity. 

Cultural rituals serve as anchors for identity and social cohesion, preserving continuity while providing children with a strong sense of belonging and security. At the same time, exposure to global parenting models and the spread of digital technologies are fostering new forms of autonomy, participatory learning, and individualized care. 

The future of Indonesian parenting lies in harmonizing these dualities: maintaining the social strengths of communal, culturally informed upbringing, while embracing rights-based, evidence-driven reforms that enhance children's outcomes in a rapidly changing world. Such a synthesis is not only feasible but well under way—evident in both family life and forward-looking national frameworks. 

For an international audience, Indonesia’s experience offers both inspiration and practical lessons in the ways that cultural context shapes parenting, and how societies can adapt inherited wisdom to new developmental challenges, ensuring that all children have the foundation to grow, thrive, and ultimately, contribute back to the collective good. 

For further exploration of Indonesian parenting and real-life footage, please consult the referenced videos and multimedia summaries embedded above and in the cited resources. 

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