Parenting in New Zealand
Mana Mokopuna: Traditional and Contemporary Approaches to Raising Māori Children in Aotearoa New Zealand

Huu Ho
1. Executive Summary and Introduction: Mana Mokopuna—Framing the Māori Child in Aotearoa
The upbringing of indigenous children is intrinsically linked to their foundational culture, language, and collective societal structure. In Aotearoa New Zealand, the practices (tikanga) used to raise mokopuna (grandchildren, children) are rooted in Mātauranga Māori (Māori knowledge) and emphasize holistic well-being (hauora) and deep genealogical connection (whakapapa). This report examines the traditional principles of Māori infant care, the devastating impact of colonization on these practices, and the evidence-based revitalization efforts underway today to restore whānau (family) confidence and improve outcomes for tamariki (children).
1.1. Context and Scope
The scope of this analysis focuses on the care of Māori infants and young children, from the time of birth through early childhood education. Understanding Māori parenting necessitates moving beyond a singular focus on the mother and father to consider the entire whānau, hapū (sub-tribe), and iwi (tribe) structures that traditionally provided collective care. The subsequent sections establish the philosophical framework that governs the status of the child, detail the ancient rituals and feeding customs, analyze the historical disruption caused by systemic colonial violence, and review contemporary policy and cultural revitalization strategies that demonstrate robust success in promoting positive child development.
1.2. Foundational Concepts: Cultural Anchors of Care
Māori perspectives on child-rearing are anchored in fundamental cultural concepts that define the child's place in the world and guide interaction.
The concept of hauora, or wellbeing, is holistic, fundamentally encompassing five dimensions: spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, and social well-being.1 Therefore, any effective caregiving model must address all these facets simultaneously, setting a high standard for collective responsibility.
Crucially, the child (mokopuna) possesses inherent status. He or she is considered tapu (sacred) and accorded immediate mana (prestige, power, authority) upon birth.2 This elevated status is linked to their wairua (spiritual essence), which is often described as stemming from two streams of existence.2 Because of this inherent mana, the child must be treated with respect and consideration, a foundational principle that profoundly shapes parental attitudes.2
The continuous practice of caring for tamariki is fundamentally viewed as the crucial mechanism for upholding whakapapa—the deep connection linking ancestors, present generations, and those yet to come.3 Whakapapa is the guiding principle that defines identity, security, and intergenerational responsibility, thereby placing the act of nurturing the young at the very center of societal health and continuation. The care structure is thus inherently collective, supporting a model known as tikanga whakatipu ririki (customary principles for nurturing children).
2. The Foundational Principles of Traditional Māori Parenting
Traditional Māori society established a sophisticated system for infant care predicated on collective responsibility, high child status, and comprehensive life training.
2.1. The Centrality of Whakapapa and Whānau
Historically, children were not seen merely as the responsibility of the biological mother and father, but rather belonged to the entire whānau.5 This shared effort ensured that both men and women took responsibility for intergenerational learning.3 This collective model of caregiving reflects core values such as aroha (love), manaakitanga (care and hospitality), and whanaungatanga (kinship), which reinforce the deep social and emotional connections necessary for group cohesion and individual security.4
The collective approach often meant that children participated in the councils of kaumatua (elders).2 They were immersed in the varied roles of adulthood from a very early age, receiving training in everything from food production and building to becoming warriors, artists, judges, and caregivers.2 This comprehensive, unshielded integration into complex adult society, where children witnessed all aspects of life, fostered rapid cognitive and social development. European observers of the early period frequently noted that Māori children and youth were "years ahead" of their European counterparts in "all aspects of life".2 This observation suggests that the collective, high-status model of parenting served as a potent educational system, preparing children not just for survival, but for leadership and profound societal contribution, reinforcing the continuity of whakapapa.3
2.2. The Status of the Child: Mana and Spiritual Integrity
The inherent high status and spiritual integrity of the child underpinned the famously "engaged and gentle" nature of traditional Māori child-rearing.4 Early European visitors frequently commented that Māori children were "indulged" by their parents and led "carefree, playful lives".5 This historical observation confirms that the cultural mandate to respect the child's mana resulted in a focus on emotional security and avoidance of unnecessary punitive measures.4
This emphasis on respect and gentle care derives directly from the spiritual perspective that views the child as tapu and integral to the cosmic order.2 Because the spiritual well-being (wairua) is inseparable from overall hauora 1, caregiving methods are automatically extended beyond simple physical provision to cultural affirmation and spiritual security. This philosophical basis naturally contrasts with many Western bio-physical models of infant health.8
2.3. The Role of Whāngai (Customary Adoption)
The practice of whāngai is a traditional form of customary adoption that continues to be practiced today.9 It differs significantly from Western adoption models in that it is open: children are raised by close relatives, such as grandparents or aunts/uncles, while maintaining open contact with their birth parents.9
Whāngai was utilized for various strategic purposes: strengthening whakapapa, allowing childless women to contribute meaningfully to raising the next generation, or deliberately cultivating specific skills or attributes in the child, such as leadership or carving (whakairo).3 Decisions regarding whāngai were always made collectively through hui (meetings) within the whānau or hapū.3 This tradition underscores the fluid, collective nature of Māori kinship, where identity is defined by the wider group (iwi) rather than restricted nuclear units.9
The following table summarizes the core philosophical concepts that guide these foundational principles:
Table 1: Key Māori Concepts Guiding Infant Care and Well-being
Concept | Definition in Child Rearing | Philosophical Function |
Whakapapa | Genealogy and lineage; the guiding principle connecting the child to ancestral knowledge and future generations. | Defines identity, security, and intergenerational responsibility. |
Whānau | The extended family unit, including close relatives (hapū); the core structure for collective caregiving. | Ensures emotional security and diffusion of caregiving labor; collective strength. |
Mana & Tapu | Inherent prestige, power, and sacredness accorded to the child from birth. | Mandates respect, gentle handling, and holistic consideration (wairua). |
Hauora | Holistic state of wellbeing (spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, social). | Provides the cultural metric for measuring success in raising the child. |
3. Traditional Tikanga (Practices) for Infant and Early Childhood Care
Māori parenting was supported by sophisticated, intentional tikanga (customs or protocols) addressing everything from spiritual dedication to physical nourishment.
3.1. Rites of Birth and Dedication
Following birth, several rites were performed for the infant. The tohi ceremony was particularly important, involving the sprinkling of the child with water and dedication to an atua (deity).9 The choice of deity often mapped out potential future roles: a boy might be dedicated to Tūmatauenga (god of war) or Rongo (god of peace), while a girl might be dedicated to Hineteiwaiwa (goddess of weaving, childbirth, and female arts).9
The tohi was followed by the pure ceremony, which involved karakia (incantations or prayers) and formal speeches. The ceremony concluded with a celebratory feast shared by the parents and their relations, followed by whakanoa, a ritual to remove the tapu restrictions associated with the sacred event.9 These rituals immediately integrated the child into both the spiritual and social spheres of the community.
3.2. Nourishment and Weaning Practices
Before European contact, breastfeeding was the only viable method for feeding infants, a practice recognized by Māori society for its significant health benefits and its role in developing a unique mother-child bond.9
Weaning involved practical, indigenous ethnobotany. To encourage a child to stop nursing, mothers sometimes rubbed their breasts with the bitter-tasting sap derived from the native kawakawa tree.9 Furthermore, the introduction of solid foods utilized the practice of mastication: mothers would chew staple foods like taro or sweet potato and then feed the prepared solids to the child.9 This method served both as preparation for the child's developing digestive system and as a means of transmitting maternal microbiota, demonstrating an intuitive, integrated understanding of early nutrition. For physical discomfort, such as teething, specific karakia were employed to soothe the baby.9
The integration of local, natural resources is encapsulated in the whakataukī (proverb) attributed to Kīngi Tāwhiao: "Me whakatupu ki te hua o te rengarenga, me whakapakari ki te hua o te kawariki"—meaning, raise the generations with the fruit of the abundant rengarenga (a spinach-like native plant) and strengthen them with the bitter fruit of the kawariki (coprosma).3 This saying reinforces the importance of using the environment to provide both sustenance and resilience.
3.3. Emotional Security and Physical Bonding
Emotional security was paramount. Traditional practices that are being actively revived in the 21st century include oriori (lullabies) and mirimiri (massage).5 Oriori are particularly significant because they rhythmically communicate the child's place in whakapapa and the wider world.10 Mirimiri, a traditional form of therapeutic massage, enhances physical healing, bonding, and emotional regulation.6
Additionally, co-sleeping (sharing a bed with the infant) has been historically and contemporarily observed among Māori families.11 For some parents, this practice is seen as a matter of convenience and necessity, allowing immediate access to the child, especially when they are unwell.11
Table 2: Traditional Māori Infant Care Practices (Tikanga Whakatipu Ririki)
Practice | Purpose and Description | Cultural and Health Significance |
Tohi and Pure | Rites of dedication to atua (deities), defining the child’s spiritual and life path. | Integration into cosmic/social order; establishing spiritual identity. |
Feeding & Weaning | Exclusive breastfeeding; weaning using bitter kawakawa sap; solids introduced via pre-chewed taro/kumara. | Promotes health, unique bond; application of indigenous medicinal knowledge and early nutritional support. |
Oriori & Mirimiri | Lullabies affirming whakapapa; therapeutic massage for physical and emotional regulation. | Fosters secure attachment; cultural knowledge transfer; physical healing and bonding. |
Whāngai | Customary, open adoption by close relatives within the whānau or hapū. | Strengthens whakapapa and collective identity; facilitates specific training/skill development. |
4. The Traumatic Disruption: Colonization and Intergenerational Impact
The strengths inherent in traditional Māori child-rearing practices were fundamentally and violently undermined by the process of colonization. Critical analysis reveals that contemporary disparities are not rooted in cultural failing, but in the calculated systemic disruption of whānau structures.
4.1. Colonization as Systemic Violence
Prominent indigenous scholars argue that colonization is inherently an abusive, systemic process.10 The imposition of the colonizers' values and institutions required a "violent race-based privileging of Pākehā realities" that actively sought to subordinate those of Māori society.10
Achieving the colonial goals of acquiring land and power necessitated the "taking away and weakening the social and emotional ties which gave Māori society its strength, and thus its power and ability to protect its children".10 Children became the "collateral damage, and too often the directly damaged victims" of this institutionalized violence.10
4.2. Destruction of Whānau Structures and Cultural Norms
The colonial project systematically attacked the intimate, protective practices of parenting. This involved redefining relationships between men and women and, critically, introducing the concept of corporal punishment within the whānau, a phenomenon previously unknown in Māori society.10
This externally imposed violence and the subsequent "internalisation of the brutality" led to the emergence of domestic violence and child abuse, pathologies that began to "tear at the bonds of whakapapa".10 The emotional core of Māori identity, which had been characterized by inherent respect (mana) and gentle care 2, was fractured and imprinted with fear.
The loss of cultural security is powerfully illustrated by the shift in traditional knowledge transfer. The calming intimacy of traditional oriori, which affirmed a child’s place in the world, was replaced by sadder songs, or laments.10 These new waiata recorded dispossession, death from new diseases, and racism, sometimes serving as simple warnings about children who had been killed or raped.10 The replacement of a nurturing cultural narrative with one of pain and foreboding constitutes a devastating psycho-social indicator of collective trauma, establishing a causal link between historical policy and intergenerational distress.
4.3. Trauma Recorded in Institutions and the Cycle of Dispossession
The trauma extended beyond the home and into institutions designed to assimilate Māori children. Systemic violence was evident in schools, where physical punishment was meted out to suppress the use of Te Reo Māori, causing children to suffer tears and pain, sometimes "beaten so badly at school they bled and could hardly walk".10 This institutional brutality shaped the subsequent suffering of children placed in state "care" over recent decades.10
A pervasive and damaging cycle was established. The weakening of whānau structures, caused directly by colonial violence, was "re-labelled" by the Crown. As a result, many families, suffering from intergenerational trauma, were regarded as "violently dysfunctional," granting the state the perceived right to remove children "for their own good".10 This "perverse circular reasoning where effect is divorced from cause" is viewed as another form of abuse and a moral failure that contravenes the Treaty of Waitangi.10
5. Contemporary Challenges and Structural Determinants of Health
Despite the inherent cultural strengths of Mātauranga Māori in child-rearing, contemporary outcomes for mokopuna are significantly compromised by persistent structural inequalities rooted in the history of colonization.
5.1. Persistent Health and Wellbeing Disparities
New Zealand generally performs poorly in international child welfare rankings, placing 35th out of 41 EU and OECD countries across various metrics, including physical health and mental well-being.1 For Māori, these disparities are particularly acute. Data indicates that Māori experience high rates of unemployment, incarceration, decreasing home ownership, lower average incomes, and alarmingly, the highest recorded levels of suicide.1
These disparities are exacerbated by systemic barriers within state services. Māori are more likely than other groups in Aotearoa to encounter structural, cultural, and interpersonal discrimination and racism when accessing healthcare.1 This marginalization leads to inequitable treatment outcomes, including less likelihood of referral to specialist services, less effective medication or surgical interventions being prescribed, and earlier hospital discharge.1 These statistics underscore that poor outcomes for mokopuna are fundamentally a product of systemic failure, not cultural pathology.
5.2. The Impact of Systemic Factors on Parenting Behaviors
Analysis of the Growing Up in New Zealand longitudinal cohort study, tracking approximately 5800 children, provides crucial evidence on parenting behaviors. The study found that most parents initially provide "healthful" behavioral environments for their infants (e.g., high consumption of vegetables and fruit).12 However, the researchers noted a severe attrition in this capability over time: 76% of children were in the more 'healthful' parenting behavior profile at 9 months, but this dropped precipitously to 40% by age 2.12
Tamariki Māori, along with Pacifica and Asian children and those with mothers who have lower educational attainment, were identified as being at the greatest risk of being exposed to less 'healthful' parental behaviors (e.g., related to smoking, screen time, and activity).12
The analysis of these findings forcefully argues against a simple behavioral deficit model. The researchers determined that promoting healthy behaviors through educational programs alone shows "diminishing returns" as children grow older.12 This failure to maintain healthy environments suggests that external, structural pressures override initial positive parental intentions.
The core conclusion of the research is that the key drivers of persistent inequities are structural: policy solutions must prioritize combating systemic racism, raising household incomes, and ensuring that high-deprivation communities have the additional resources necessary to thrive.12 When financial and systemic burdens are alleviated, parents are better equipped to sustain positive environments.
5.3. Philosophical Clash in Parenting Models
Compounding structural issues is a philosophical clash between Māori and Western paradigms. Traditional Māori healthcare approaches, encompassing the spiritual (wairua), the social (whānau role), and the mental (hinengaro), are fundamentally holistic and often clash with Western clinical techniques focused narrowly on physical symptoms.8
Furthermore, researchers have observed a difference in approach to boundary setting. Compared to New Zealand European and Asian parents, Māori parents were more likely to describe their parenting as relaxed and laid back, preferring to allow children to find their own boundaries and experimenting with rules.11 This approach, derived from the tradition of according the child mana and respecting their autonomy 2, can sometimes be misinterpreted or misaligned within Western frameworks that favor rigid structure and definitive rules.
Table 3: Structural Determinants of Health Inequity for Tamariki Māori
Inequity/Disparity | Observed Outcome | Causality Determined by Research |
Exposure to Less Healthful Behaviors | Tamariki Māori at greatest risk of exposure to poor nutritional/activity environments post-9 months. | Attributed to structural factors (systemic racism, low income, deprivation), not individual parental capability. |
Healthcare Access | Increased risk of structural, cultural, and interpersonal discrimination; lower referral and prescription rates. | Results in higher morbidity and mortality rates across the lifespan. |
Cultural Dispossession | Historical loss of whānau ties, introduction of corporal punishment, abuse in institutions. | Led to intergenerational trauma, increased family violence, and the current cycle of state intervention. |
6. Revitalization and Culturally Grounded Support Systems
In response to historical trauma and ongoing structural inequities, there is a powerful movement toward revitalizing Mātauranga Māori in child-rearing, supported by strong empirical evidence.
6.1. Reclaiming Cultural Identity through Education and Language
Cultural revitalization is being led through indigenous education systems that restore the cultural narrative. Te Kōhanga Reo is a foundational center-based service providing total immersion in Te Reo Māori (Māori language), customs, and values for tamariki from birth to school age.13 These centers are led by whānau and are critical for the collective effort to revitalize the language and cultural identity.13
Early Childhood Education (ECE) initiatives recognize that the provision of safe, nurturing environments must incorporate cultural knowledge.4 Programs aim to help mokopuna recognize their inherent mana and learn how to accrue it through kaitiakitanga (guardianship) of themselves, others, and their environment.1 These culturally affirming programs reinforce core values such as aroha, manaakitanga, and whanaungatanga through shared activities like group caregiving, karakia, waiata (songs), and pūrākau (storytelling).4
